Daniel Vercetti

 

The 3 Hidden Fears Keeping You Single – Part 1

By vercetti on May 4, 2011

If you’ve ever been plagued by any form of anxiety, it’s highly likely that there are deeper fears than the fear of rejection causing it.

Once fear has taken a hold of you for long enough, it becomes a “state of mind”…

If you’re at this point, take drastic action to break free from the fear!
It’s been a long journey for me. (January, 2011 marks my 5th year in the “Game.”)

As I was re-reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, I was reminded of one of my biggest “ah-ha” moments in my learning process.

I was a mess before I took my Bootcamp. The thought of approaching a beautiful stranger would paralyze me and violently send my heart rate through the roof…

To the point where I thought women could hear each thump pounding through my chest!

Common Dating Advice called it “Fear of Rejection,” but I knew it was something deeper than that.

I’m a Professional Actor. And rejection comes hand in hand with success in the entertainment industry…

But I certainly didn’t have the kind of visceral reaction that I experienced when meeting women.

That’s when Napoleon Hill’s book jumped up and smacked me in the face!
The 3 Gremlins Of The Mind…
These little critters go almost unnoticed but wreak havoc in your dating life.

It takes a very honest level of self-analysis to highlight and eliminate them.

Let’s take a closer look…

The Fear Of Poverty
It was summertime when I reached an all-time low.

The flesh was out in full force. Women were wearing next to nothing…

My hormones were racing and I was getting diddly squat – not a jot of action!

I would look at a woman walking down the street and come up with every excuse for why I couldn’t approach.

Either:

  • She looked too busy
  • I wasn’t dressed right
  • There were too many people
  • Etc., etc., etc.

This happened so many times that I eventually became numb to it.

I knew I was never going to approach.

My desire left me as I kept asking, “What’s the point of even looking?”

The Fear Of Poverty Had Sunk Its Claws Into Me!

Continued defeat and failure to overcome fear…Can lead you to a sense of helplessness.

This is when the ‘Poverty’ state of mind kicks in…

Where women become “out-of-your-league.” You no longer even attempt to push yourself…

Or on the flip side of the same coin, you become clingy, needy and desperate, thinking that you can’t move on and do better…

Or that you don’t want to go through the whole dating game again!
Symptoms Of The Fear Of Poverty
Indifference

Expressed through a lack of drive to meet women

A feeling of helplessness in controlling your success and results

Lack of initiative and ability to take “right action” and approach

Doubt

Generally expressed through excuses for why you shouldn’t approach or for why you get blow-outs

Worry

Usually expressed by nervousness

Lack of ‘Poise’

Self-consciousness

Weak Body Language

Criticizing other men who are approaching

Talking about game in clubs but not actually approaching

Getting into sets with average girls and clinging on to avoid approaching hotter women

Having to drink in order to approach

Indecision

The inability to lead and escalate

Allowing women to dominate conversations and relationships

Hesitating before Approaching

Over-caution

Finding all the reasons why an opener/technique won’t work instead of experimenting

Always waiting for the right time to approach instead of diving in and seizing the moment

Failing to use edgier and higher risk behaviour when attracting women

Waiting for clear signs that she is ready to be kissed before making a move

Procrastination (closely linked to over-caution, doubt and worry)

Waiting for the perfect time to approach

Talking to friends in the club to avoid approaching

Staying in your comfort zone and avoiding challenges

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