Daniel Vercetti

 

High-Value Body Language

By vercetti on May 4, 2011

Your Body Language says more about you than any Routine or DHV Story that you throw into a set. It is so powerful and fundamental to the seduction process that it can get you blown out, approached or invited into a set before you even open your mouth.***

The effects of Body Language on my Game

My professional training as an actor helped my game to sky rocket!
In my early days before I understood attraction and the role that Body Language plays, I blew a lot of sets by doing too much. Here’s the thing, although I didn’t completely feel like it, my Body Language was that of a high value confident man, due to the work I’d done in my training. I’d go into a set, thinking my value was lower than perceived, Neg, look like an arrogant twat and blow it.

Another confusing issue was why I would get so many approach invitations!
Now, I’m a decent looking guy granted, and I’ve worked on my appearance but I’ve also been out with equally and more physically attractive guys than myself and still received the same responses and approach invitations. Then I realised it was all in my Body Language.

Now, high value Body Language is the foundation of what I teach to my 1-1 students because it’s an area I’ve found most men are weak in and it’s hard to teach without an experienced eye. And after 5yrs working on this particular area, that experienced eye, is mine.

Foundations
I’ve broken Body Language into 4 categories in an attempt to write about a subject that is very physical in nature and much easier to teach in person.

They are:

Posture and Alignment

• Vocal Quality

• Presence and Movement

• Beliefs

Posture and alignment (P/A)

Nothing turns me off more, than a woman with bad posture. Hunched over shoulders, concaved chest hinting at an insecurity or discomfort with her breast size. Slouched spine, with little or no awareness of her femininity and sexuality.

For me having been spoilt by trained actresses and dancers, bad body language is repulsive and gives me major clues about her confidence or lack of. Now that’s not to say that everyone with good posture and alignment has true inner confidence but good posture and alignment does have a massive impact on your interactions and the perceptions of others.

Take a look at the type of women you find irresistibly attractive, start to notice what it is about them that really gets you going. Observe the way they hold themselves, how confident they look just through their posture and alignment alone.
Bad posture in men is equally as unattractive, because of what it communicates subconsciously.

Head jotting forward with an eye line constantly looking down communicates low status, as if bowing to a master, afraid of confrontation. Sloping shoulders and concaved chest gives of a depressed timid look, someone who looks down trodden and definitely not the sign of a man who is in command of himself and his world. Not someone that a high value woman would feel comfortable submitting to.

Openness

When I refer to Openness in relation to body language I’m talking about vital physical parts – Heart, Lungs, throat, groin (it’s vital to me!) being left vulnerable and unguarded by crossed arms or legs. This subconsciously communicates confidence especially in environments that are considered hostile or competitive. “Who is this guy that walks so freely through this crowd, unaffected by the presence of other men?”

This doesn’t mean being a dick and physically imposing on people, it means being comfortable in your skin.

Emitting Strength and Confidence through Body Language
Neutralizing Posture

When I work with my 1-1 students our first aim is Neutralize body Posture and Alignment.

Due to day to day stress we accumulate tension in various parts of our bodies. These tensions can affect us in different ways, increased stress, headaches, depression, aches & pains and also make us look very uncomfortable in social environments. This will not be comfortable or easy for most of you. If you have been working in front of a computer, lifting weights without good posture or generally living life unaware of bad postural habits then this will take work.

Developing good postural habits is both a mental and physical process. You must first improve your awareness of your body and then change the way you use it.

Tension Awareness

Headaches, stiffness, low range of movement are some indicators of tension. I’m focusing on the physical indicators of tension and the aesthetics of the body as that is most relevant to social dynamics. Keep in mind that your body is made up of different muscle groups working to together and that tension in one group affects the other groups as they have to compensate to keep your body balanced.

Neck and Shoulders
Indicators: Head jutting forward. Shoulders raised towards the ears. Shoulders sloping forwarding Hunch back of Notre Dame Style.

Upper and lower back
Indicators: Slouching forward, Rigid posture.

Hips/Buttocks/Stomach
Indicators: Staggered or blocky movement quality. Groin thrust forward or backwards. Shallow Breathing.

Legs and Knees
Indicators: Locked knees, Butt sticking out.

** Check yourself in the mirror after a good night’s sleep, check in with your body. Take note of your posture. At this time of day, you are relatively stress free, then check in at the end of the day and see if you can notice where you have picked up and stored tension.**

Releasing tension

When it comes to releasing tension I recommend doing whatever you have access to.
Massage, Yoga, Alexander Technique and general stretching are all good ways to release tension and good ways to build awareness of your body.

Daily Neutralization

Take 5mins to get your whole body warm however you like, if I have limited room I jog on the spot, do star jumps. I also skip or sprint around a room if I have more space.

Once you’re feeling warm start by mobilizing you body from head to toe, getting blood flowing to all areas.

Stretch starting from your head moving all the way down to your feet.

The Neutral Position

The true power of this position is that it prevents a negative “thin slice”, something that becomes vital in high stake sets with high value women. They won’t be able to pick up any negative signals from your body. In fact you’ll look comfortable and grounded, like a powerful man – very attractive.

A quick word on Breathing; consciously keep your breath deep throughout the following adjustments. At no point should you be holding your breath. Imagine as you inhale that the breath is coming in through your feet.

We’ll start from the feet up.

Feet: Hip width apart facing forward, this is your foundation. There are 3 points of balance in the feet that I want you to become aware of. These are the balls of the feet behind the big and little toes and the heel. Your weight should be evenly distributed between the 3 points.
*Having your feet too far apart can look try-hard in these early stages until you’re very conscious of the signals that your body is giving off.

Knees: Unlocked but not bent.
*Many people have the tendency to force the knees back and lock them in an attempt to stand erect and upright, this puts tension in the lower back and leads to shallow breathing; making it harder to relax and building anxiety.

Hips/Buttocks/Stomach: Buttocks and Hips free, Stomach released, spine lengthening but not rigid.

Chest: Should be relaxed and open, not puffed up or stuck out.
*Imagine that it is widening with every breath.

Arms/Shoulders: Should hang effortlessly by the side of the body.
*Imagine that you have weights on the end of your finger tips

Neck: The aim is to increase the length in your neck.
*Imagine that your head is floating towards the sky.

Jaw: Released and unclenched.

Head: should rest balanced on top of your spine, tilting slightly forwards and up with your eye-line on the horizon.
**Once in this neutral position imagine that you have a piece of string attached to the top of your spine (where your head and neck meet) and that it’s gently pulling you up to the ceiling. Another string is attached to the base of your spine (just behind your anus), this string is gently pulling you to the ground.**

Walk around like this, find relaxation and ease in this new posture without slipping back into your old habits. Look in the mirror, check yourself out then compare as you let yourself go back into your old posture, note the difference.


It’s important to remember it takes time to neutralise your posture, you may have been slouching for years your muscles have become conditioned a certain way and you’ll have to work hard to undo that.

Final Word
This is the basic and neutral posture, immediately you’ll be emitting strength and openness. Pay attention to just this seemingly simple process and you’ll notice a difference in the way people communicate with you and the type of presence you have in social environments. You’ll also notice as a bi product, you’ll have a more rich and resonant voice due to the space and relaxation you have created in you in body.

This is a slice of the Body Language work that I teach, all the subsequent articles will assume that you have began to integrate this neutral posture into your everyday life.

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1 comment

  1. […] High-value body language, by LS […]

     

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